Dog Prayers

Dog Prayers 1


Dear God,

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God,

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?


Dog Prayers 2


Dear God,

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE is named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be that hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?


Dear God,

If a dog barks his head off in the forest, and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?


Dear God,

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?


Dear God,

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
(No, dogs get a “Go Directly To Heaven” card. Do not pass “Go”. Do not collect $200. Go directly to Heaven. – Vikar)


Dear God,

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?


Dog prayers 3


Dear God,
Here is a list of a few of the things I must remember to be a good dog:


1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the smell.
3. The sofa is not a face towel.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
7. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
9. I will not throw up in the car.
10. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
11. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
12. And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my testicles back?


The Dog


A Puppy’s Story

A Puppy's Story

The bell from the petshop door rings for the 35th time today. A 7 year old girl, all dressed in pink, with curly hair and ribbons walks in, with her parents. She’s wearing a girly purse, far too big for her arm, but all shiny and with a spoiled child’s attitude, drags her dad’s hand to hurry up. Her mom is a skinny woman, in a a business outfit and her dad holds the keys to a Mercedes Benz. I smile, thinking of a new opportunity for Soul.

“We want a pet for our daughter”, the man said. This is our chance! I walk them politely to the small shelter where the puppies are. Only three left. The girl already spots Soul and tries to pick him up, while the other two puppies joyfully walk to the small hand, waggling their tails. But Soul looks special, with his brown nose and blue eyes…too bad that those baby blue marbles don’t function well…Then I told them that the puppy is blind. The girl immediately puts it down with a “getting rid of” gesture and the mom wrinkles her nose in disgust. Soul tries to find his way back in the corner, sniffing around, taking small insecure steps. He bumps into another puppy, then finally finds the way back. My eyes get wet at the scene, because I saw it too many times…When will I learn my lesson? Rich people want perfect pets. But Soul is perfect…he offers more love and tenderness than any other puppy we had.

The rough voice of the man brings me back to reality, from my deep thoughts: “We’ll take this one!”. Trying to smile, I suggest the best accessories needed for a puppy and charge. I want to see them out as soon as possible. Another disappointment.

All the people walking in this store pick up Soul first, because he is such an adorable puppy, but all put him down after they find out about his blindness…He is so young still, and can already manage fine by using his senses, he’s playful and loyal…And he has a low price, not because he is not worth even more than the other puppies, but because we want a real home for him…

Preparing to close the shop, the door bell rings again. It’s a young boy and a strange looking lady. Trying to look busy and let them know that we are closing, I start cleaning the front desk. The boy picks up Soul, and with a dry voice I just tell him that the puppy is blind. The woman tells the kid to pick the other one then, but the boy is holding Soul tight. I don’t even bother to look, because I am too familiar with the scene. I just want them to leave. But then something drags my attention…

“You think that only because some have small handicaps they don’t deserve to be loved? Or that they can’t offer love? This puppy is just like me, aunty, and I want him!”. The woman tries to say something, but the boy continues, while on his cheeks crystal clear tears roll over…”I know how it is to be abandoned because you’re not perfect. Maybe he doesn’t have parents either, maybe nobody wants him, but I do…” I found myself staring like a fool, with enlarged eyes and my cleaning products spilled on the desk…

They are approaching now to pay for Soul…I must pull myself together. Ok, here comes the smile…Good. “Are you sure you want this puppy, young man?”. Is that my voice? It is…As a response, the boy frowns at me, holding Soul tighter.

I give the sweet puppy a goodbye kiss, knowing that he is going to be loved. Walking out of my petshop, I finally have time to analyse the two strange humans…The boy was dragging a wooden leg, but his face was glowing and Soul was licking it with joy…