There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited:
“Hi! I’m a zebra, what are you?”
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut down because one worker couldn’t keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her.
Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said,
“Lady, I said to give each doll Two—–Test—–Tickles.”
Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word “NO!”
A dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car…
If a dog gets ill, it won’t take eighteen Panadols in order to avoid having to go to the vet.
For a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health.
Dogs can find their way back home – even after a really heavy night out.
Puppy love doesn’t wear off so quickly with a dog.
Dogs sometimes dig the garden.
Some dogs can be quite talented at singing.
You can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it’ll break.
A ‘King Charles’ is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared dog than a big floppy-eared man.
Having a dog around the place can actually ease stress.
A 16-year-old dog is very mature.
Dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery.
Dogs are easier to house-train.
A dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi.
Most dogs are really good with children.
A dog can look as though it understands what you’re saying.
A man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee.
Being a dog’s mistress is no reason to feel ashamed.
You can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving.
You can train a dog in obedience.
A dog in a studded collar isn’t kinky.
Small, ginger-haired dogs can be quite appealing. As for men? Two words. Robin Cook.
You can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper.
When dogs beg, it’s cute. When men beg it’s pathetic.
Dogs won’t get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around.
A dog is a faithful companion.
A dog is for life.
Now where could he be going? D’uh, stupid question! To the weekly elephants’ meeting, of course!
A fox was peacefully walking through the desert, when, all of a sudden, she spots a dog running like crazy. Being a curious animal, the fox stops him and asks:
“Hey dog, what’s the rush? Why are you in such a hurry?”
The dog replies, while desperately looking around:
“Leave me alone now, if I don’t find a tree I’ll piss myself!”